Time HeaLs

Tonight i watch a movie that made me thought about comprenhension of life. Two days before going to Sweden my uncle died, the youngest brother of my father died in a weekend. He was an alcoholic but he tried many times to quit, he couldn't, he got this sicness in the liver that got complicated. On friday morning he went to the doctor just to receive the news that there was no more hope, by sunday afternoon my cousin and her uncle needed to brake into the house cause my uncle wasn't answering unfortunately it was too late his liver and brain were dead. On monday night he died in the hospital. The whole family was there, my dad didn't make it, he arrived just 5 minutes after the doctor gave us the news, he was in the States. I saw my dad cry for the second time in my life and my granfather for the first time. Between all the feelings and thoughts I had in that moment it really concerned me my trip to Sweden I wanted to stay to be by my dad's side but at the same time I didn't want to disapoint my friends who were waiting for me. My dad told me that life goes on and so I took my plane two days after.
Two weeks ago I dreamed about my uncle, he was in my house with all the family and nobody could see him, just me and he looked happy, he was laughing, he looked healthy, when I told my dad he cried again but I took my dream as a sign that he was ok. What I can't understand now is that ok life goes on and they say everything heals with the time but scars are forever right? So how can you be the same person when you have suffer many losts or very painful things in your life? You go on for sure, you keep on doing your things, keep holding your plans, rutines bla bla. I saw my dad two days ago, his look is so diferent that I wanted to cry, his hair turned a little bit gray, I know that he will never be the same its like a part of his soul is lost. I wonder if there is anybody who can really overcome the situations with a perfect healing and no scar just understanding that thats the way it is, I can't, I might understand it but it still hurts it will always hurt as it has been with all the losts I've experienced in my family and friends. How can you be the same?

And sO it iS

For the last few weeks I've been trying to figure out why things have to be soooo complicated. Yes, I was in Sweden and I just came back about an hour ago. It feels good to be home but I can't find the way to fill this emptiness in my heart. I love being here with my family, i love my friends and my people but there is something about my friends in Sweden that make me grew up as a person day by day. It feels that the only time in my life I have felt completely free is when I'm there. My friends, I have no words to describe what is to live with those crazy girls that have sooo much to offer each one of them and that they are full of joy. On the other hand I have my beloved Jesper, gosh he is by far the bestest friend ever. Its weird you know? like every little thing i have live by his side has been incredible, a person that without even noticing it made me change a lot for good. It was if like I suddenly realize how important someone can be for me to cross the Atlantic just to be next to that person for a few days, I would do it over and over again. Things are complicated then, I'm back home, back to reality but this time will be different I feel happy for real and I don't know when will I be back to Sweden but if something is for sure is that I will always fight to keep all those people by my side. My little sisters 'Las quiero' Jesper 'keep you in my heart forever.

RoCk n' RoLL YeaH

Like on sunday guess what, I went to the f-ing great concert of Aerosmith!! I have to admit I wasn't a real fan, I mean I love Rock that's why I knew I need to be in there and this band is great. So I went to the concert with my brother we bought general entrance tickets so we arrive like one hour before the concert began. Then suddenly around 8:00 o'clock a mexican band opened with one of their famous songs, 'La cuca' is the name of the band, actually i hate that band, they suck they only have one good song, the thing is they are good musicians but the lyrics are vulgar. Anyway it started raining, i know!!! and very windy but it only last like one hour so it wasn't that bad.
So finaly at 9:00 o'clock Steven Tyler came out with the rest of the band behind him, it was awsome, to suddenly start feeling the music, Steven's voice is like heaven so after two hours of singing with the band the concert was over. I can say a lot of things and describe many others but only the ones who have been in a rock concert know the real feeling of rock n' roll!

DiaRy

Hey I'm really sorry I didn't write before (not like everybody is interested on my blog) but I have been working 24/7 on school stuff that totally sucks. I mean not everything has been that bad, I went to the beach for a week with all my cousins and it was really fun I mean it was really really familiar but it didn't matter I had my time to go to nightclubs and get completely wasted. I wish you could see the beautiful beaches we have here in Mexico and Cancun uff is terrific!!! its a place that has everything, perfect weather, perfect sand, perfect ocean, parties, nightclubs, springbrakers!!!!!
Anyway, I went las weekend to a place called Cuernavaca known as "The place of the eternal spring" thats true, there is always good weather there I cannot tell why but it is really fun, is a place where all young people go to their country houses to party every weekend so as you can imagine is totally cool and its only one hour from Mexico city.
Well I don't want this to sound like propaganda for my country hehe I just wanted to share a little bit of what I've done. Luv ya!

MaYbe ToMorrOw?

Look at me in this pic, don't pay attention to the other drunkie next to me who happens to be my ex but thats another story, so just look at me ok? Now I'm gonna tell you what, in this year was suppose to be a huge change in my life so much that I decided to stop drinking for 2 months (not that I really wanted to) but let's say I had to so instead of being a good thing it happened to be the worst like just imagine hanging out with a bunch of alcoholic people who can't only have a couple of drinks but a couple of bottles at least! and then there is me analyzing each one of them and thinking "thank god i don't drink anymore, do I look like that when i'm drunk?" I thought i was finally growing up, I felt myself more responsible and mature? and all of this completely sober!!!!! Anyway the point is that of course I ended up like a drunkie!!! Yeah and sadly i look as ridiculous as my friends when I'm wasted! but then i realize something, sometimes in life we get so fed up about something that we just want to change it in a minute, just like that but that's not the way it works everything has a moment and when this comes for something to be left behind then it will just go with the flow otherwise you are just forcing yourself to something its not meant to happen yet. I mean its not that you don't have control of what you do but if you try and try and try and its just not working maybe its because its not the moment so just let it happen. I don't know maybe its too late and i'm just trying to feel better about my way of drinking hehe no but if you have any comment about it let me know ;).

"The Past Is DusT and The FutuRe iS WateR"

What about that!! give it your own interpretation, it's funny you know? I heard this from a 'fortune teller' somewhere and well I really thought about it for a while hehe maybe dumb maybe wise it depends on how you take it ;) kiss.

JusT StoP!

You know I was in my f-ing boring class of Latinamerican Literature which suppose to be fun but my teacher has the gift to make it the most horrible class ever, but between all the shit he was saying I heard this quote: "We have organized a logical existence over a well of mysteries", Maria Luisa Bombal. So this made me think that most of the people just live this way, in a logical existence and the ones who realize that there is a well of mysteries are the ones who become blurry and who feel there is always something missing!! But that sucks you know? it sucks that sometimes you look around you and there is nothing else you can ask for but somehow you don't feel complete!! So with the help of my wise friend Jesper I conclude that we should just stop and think that this life is to love and be happy, nothing else 'cause the rest is just the extra touch and if we already found out about the well of mysteries let's just find them out!!!

"A woman from women without fear could transform the world"

CLoSiNg iT

A new stage in my life and my friend's life is closing. We conclude that it will take a while for us to find a moment of stablishment as for our plans and the way our life decides to behave seems all blurry. Not that I'm complaining and I wouldn't say my friend is but it's really hard to just close windows and keep on living hidding all those emotions and thoughts. This way of living is very interesting and rich in many aspects but it is devastating to the soul as well and more when you are very passioned to people, feelings and situations.

"All Good Things (Come To An End)"

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

[Chorus:]
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

ToP 10 saTurdaY NigHt

10. PACO: "Ya se, nos quedamos en standby y en la casa ya encontramos un lugar"
Salud!
9. PANCHO: "No mames no van a llegar esos weyes le dijeron a mi mama"
Vino el malvibriento?? no pero por que wey??!!
8. ESAU: "No! Japo se queda, vamonos"
Perdon Japo hihi malentendido?
7. GERARDO: " No mames estas bien rica, te quiero cochar"
A huevo sin rodeos y seguimos bailando!
6. PACO: "Oye? no mames vino Japo hace rato?"
Haha justo dos segundos despues de que partiera.
5. CYN: "No mames haha creo que sigo peda"
Domingo en la mañana.
4. MEL: "No mames no huele a nada...y no sabe a nada"
Hihi un vaso de puro tequila?? ahhh kbron.
3. PACO: "...no mames esa agua me alcanza para dos o tres tragos mas! Pero a ti se te hizo como la montaña rusa no?"
Junkie precioso hehe de que hablas bombon?
2. JAPO: "Mi vieja se emputo por los hielos"
Ayyyy no mames, quien se enoja por unos putos hielos weyyyy.
1. TODOS: "Y antes que pase mas, tiempo contigo amor... Porque duele, duele tanto amarte asi"
Las rolas del recuerdo.

Lamentablemente este es un top 10 sin embargo si se hiciera un recuento de la noche jamas se acabaria de enlistar, entre borrachines, bailadores y uno que otro que decide inculcar nuevas tecnicas (ejemplo: raul y su nueva forma de dormir) se creo una muy agradable noche de copas por recordar.

See yOu LaTeR

Yesterday night and well this morning I said goodbye to some dearest friends. I didn't really have the chance to know them THAT well but the time I spent with them was more than enough to realize that these guys really rock. They come from the north of Mexico called Chihuahua actually the guys from the north have the reputation to be "machos" you know? and well they are sort of specialin their way of being it's like you never know what to expect from them like the way of acting or behaving but even if they are weird (hehe not reallly) I just love being with them. They are all musicians so that means that at some moment the time to play the guitars and sing came and it was wonderful but now they have to go back home to build a project hoping to come back around november. Of course very typical from me I really liked one of them, of course he has piercings, perfect nose, stylish hair, he plays the drums between other instruments and yesterday I found out he has tattoos!! But it is like this, people come and go and specially musicians you can never expect to find something serious unless you are involved in the same business hehe. Anyway, it was hard to know they are leaving but there is always hope to see them again and repeat the wonderful times we share. Gonna miss you boys!!!!

DeaReSt FrieNdS:

Everyday when I open my msn I'm always wishing to find each one of you to talk, know about you, tell you my things and remember experiences. Is like if my conection with Sweden is endless usually you go live in one place, visit another make some friends, sometimes talk to them and just keep on going with your life but somehow this time has been diferent. Many things change in life just by knowing you and it's incredible how in just one year or one semester of knowing each other we could create a really nice friendship with very honest feelings.
I have to tell you that all the words I receive from you make me fight every single day to be someone better and to see you again, specially refering to my babie rommmies and of course Jesper and Joakim. Reading in your blogs what you've written about me leaves me speachless and... well I really don't know how to express what do I feel everytime I read your words. We are always complaining about how life works but I have learned that life is full of surprises and I don't regret at all the hard times that have come to my life just to have as a reward meet you all and I can tell you now that no matter which direccion our paths take, I will always fight to keep this friendship we have built. I really love you all soooooo hard, tack så mycket forever and ever.

TaVo & LeTy

It's been years since we met cousin but it's unbelievable that you are going to be a father soon, I'm actually pretty excited about it hehe. Isn't it funny how you never expect someone to settle down or like you have an image of the pop star covered with girls, drinking, somking touching the limits!!!! But finally there is a moment for everybody to STOP and just calm down. That's why I always recomend to do and destroy everything while you can!!! Of course being careful of getting into the bottom because there it's really hard to recover.
Congratulations for the twins that are coming!!! Luv ya always...

Chris Cornell-You Know My Name

If you take a life, do you know what you'll give
Odds are you won't like what it is

When the storm arrives
Would you be seen with me
By the merciless eyes of deceit

I've seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
Just next in line

(Chorus)

Arm yourself because no one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you

You can't deny the prize, it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die

The coldness burns through my veins
You know my name

If you come inside
Things will not be the same
When you return to my eyes

And if you think you've won
You never saw me change
The game that we have been playing

I've seen this diamond cut through harder men
Than you yourself, but if you must pretend
You may meet your end

(Chorus)

Try to hide your hand
Forget how to feel
(forget how to feel)

Life is gone, with just a spin of the wheel
(Spin of the wheel)

(Chorus)

KeeP On WaLkiNg

My dearest friends:
How are you all?!! I am ok. I have to confess that this last month was really hard for me and I really don't expect this one to be much better but I will try to be positive. Since I arrive to my country I have faced a lot of emotions and situations that came into my life, unfortunately not all of them good ones. It's like life is trying to make me stronger with all the bounderies I have but suddenly you find yourself completely low, I have been holding my tears all this month to overcome the hard times taking the strength I don't know from where. Sometimes I wonder if it is true that you pay all the harm that you've done but the thing is that sometimes you don't mean to hurt people so how does it work??!! Anyways I really don't want to look like a victim but just to take all this as a lesson I mean it would be really unfair if I was paying for things I didn't mean to do right? Haha like I don't even understand myself now but what I actually wanted to say with this is that I learn that there is nothing more important than friendship and my friends in here have been by my side all the time, no matter what, ones know more than others what is going on but I wouldn't have seen the light by the end of the tunnel if it wasn't for them. I wish things were other way, I wish I was still in Sweden without any worries but life is like this right? So to all of you that I consider my friends I send you all my love and please know that I will always be here for you.

CyN - Jamas lo estaria logrando si no fuera por ti, neta no words wey. Keep spinning around enjoying the smell of the woods and the water falling over you face" Las cosas mas simples de la vida son por las que vale la pena vivir...y amigas como tu.

The 4 ChiCkS

Ser o parecer quien te imaginas
No me puede hacer la dueña de tu vida
Si no me miras, baby...
Mucho ya intenté por levantar la voz
Por despertar el interés vacío

Que te haga mío, baby...
Y sé que tal vez ese día
Nunca me sucederá...

Pero tú en mis sueños siempre has de estar
Como una luz que me ilumina
Y al despertar quiero volverlo a intentar

Yo...

Sé que el corazón late más fuerte, más que un motor
Y aunque no sabes nada de mí
Un día te habré de alcanzar, amor.

Las quiero pedorrillas!!!

What's up!

"Abre, abre grande..."

"Andale Lola, esque yo te amo"

"Si tan solo supieran wey, TODO LO QUE HEMOS HECHO"

"A ver, que andas balbuceando k'bron?!"

"Y antes que pase mas tiempo contigo amor, tengo que decir que eres el amor de mi vida..."

Getting ready for the big ones, meanwhile tooootally enjoy the season and the "hot" guys hihi.

FaDe AwaY

Have you ever stop to think, how are you living your life? Life come and goes so fast that in a blink everything that you thought it was for real suddenly disappears. I have no words to express how I feel, how much I will miss you, how much I learned from you. Your memory will remain forever and I will keep you in my heart. To all my family, be strong and know that somehow life goes on...

"...Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day (fade away, fade away, fade away, ahhah)..."