Time HeaLs

Tonight i watch a movie that made me thought about comprenhension of life. Two days before going to Sweden my uncle died, the youngest brother of my father died in a weekend. He was an alcoholic but he tried many times to quit, he couldn't, he got this sicness in the liver that got complicated. On friday morning he went to the doctor just to receive the news that there was no more hope, by sunday afternoon my cousin and her uncle needed to brake into the house cause my uncle wasn't answering unfortunately it was too late his liver and brain were dead. On monday night he died in the hospital. The whole family was there, my dad didn't make it, he arrived just 5 minutes after the doctor gave us the news, he was in the States. I saw my dad cry for the second time in my life and my granfather for the first time. Between all the feelings and thoughts I had in that moment it really concerned me my trip to Sweden I wanted to stay to be by my dad's side but at the same time I didn't want to disapoint my friends who were waiting for me. My dad told me that life goes on and so I took my plane two days after.
Two weeks ago I dreamed about my uncle, he was in my house with all the family and nobody could see him, just me and he looked happy, he was laughing, he looked healthy, when I told my dad he cried again but I took my dream as a sign that he was ok. What I can't understand now is that ok life goes on and they say everything heals with the time but scars are forever right? So how can you be the same person when you have suffer many losts or very painful things in your life? You go on for sure, you keep on doing your things, keep holding your plans, rutines bla bla. I saw my dad two days ago, his look is so diferent that I wanted to cry, his hair turned a little bit gray, I know that he will never be the same its like a part of his soul is lost. I wonder if there is anybody who can really overcome the situations with a perfect healing and no scar just understanding that thats the way it is, I can't, I might understand it but it still hurts it will always hurt as it has been with all the losts I've experienced in my family and friends. How can you be the same?

And sO it iS

For the last few weeks I've been trying to figure out why things have to be soooo complicated. Yes, I was in Sweden and I just came back about an hour ago. It feels good to be home but I can't find the way to fill this emptiness in my heart. I love being here with my family, i love my friends and my people but there is something about my friends in Sweden that make me grew up as a person day by day. It feels that the only time in my life I have felt completely free is when I'm there. My friends, I have no words to describe what is to live with those crazy girls that have sooo much to offer each one of them and that they are full of joy. On the other hand I have my beloved Jesper, gosh he is by far the bestest friend ever. Its weird you know? like every little thing i have live by his side has been incredible, a person that without even noticing it made me change a lot for good. It was if like I suddenly realize how important someone can be for me to cross the Atlantic just to be next to that person for a few days, I would do it over and over again. Things are complicated then, I'm back home, back to reality but this time will be different I feel happy for real and I don't know when will I be back to Sweden but if something is for sure is that I will always fight to keep all those people by my side. My little sisters 'Las quiero' Jesper 'keep you in my heart forever.

RoCk n' RoLL YeaH

Like on sunday guess what, I went to the f-ing great concert of Aerosmith!! I have to admit I wasn't a real fan, I mean I love Rock that's why I knew I need to be in there and this band is great. So I went to the concert with my brother we bought general entrance tickets so we arrive like one hour before the concert began. Then suddenly around 8:00 o'clock a mexican band opened with one of their famous songs, 'La cuca' is the name of the band, actually i hate that band, they suck they only have one good song, the thing is they are good musicians but the lyrics are vulgar. Anyway it started raining, i know!!! and very windy but it only last like one hour so it wasn't that bad.
So finaly at 9:00 o'clock Steven Tyler came out with the rest of the band behind him, it was awsome, to suddenly start feeling the music, Steven's voice is like heaven so after two hours of singing with the band the concert was over. I can say a lot of things and describe many others but only the ones who have been in a rock concert know the real feeling of rock n' roll!

DiaRy

Hey I'm really sorry I didn't write before (not like everybody is interested on my blog) but I have been working 24/7 on school stuff that totally sucks. I mean not everything has been that bad, I went to the beach for a week with all my cousins and it was really fun I mean it was really really familiar but it didn't matter I had my time to go to nightclubs and get completely wasted. I wish you could see the beautiful beaches we have here in Mexico and Cancun uff is terrific!!! its a place that has everything, perfect weather, perfect sand, perfect ocean, parties, nightclubs, springbrakers!!!!!
Anyway, I went las weekend to a place called Cuernavaca known as "The place of the eternal spring" thats true, there is always good weather there I cannot tell why but it is really fun, is a place where all young people go to their country houses to party every weekend so as you can imagine is totally cool and its only one hour from Mexico city.
Well I don't want this to sound like propaganda for my country hehe I just wanted to share a little bit of what I've done. Luv ya!

MaYbe ToMorrOw?

Look at me in this pic, don't pay attention to the other drunkie next to me who happens to be my ex but thats another story, so just look at me ok? Now I'm gonna tell you what, in this year was suppose to be a huge change in my life so much that I decided to stop drinking for 2 months (not that I really wanted to) but let's say I had to so instead of being a good thing it happened to be the worst like just imagine hanging out with a bunch of alcoholic people who can't only have a couple of drinks but a couple of bottles at least! and then there is me analyzing each one of them and thinking "thank god i don't drink anymore, do I look like that when i'm drunk?" I thought i was finally growing up, I felt myself more responsible and mature? and all of this completely sober!!!!! Anyway the point is that of course I ended up like a drunkie!!! Yeah and sadly i look as ridiculous as my friends when I'm wasted! but then i realize something, sometimes in life we get so fed up about something that we just want to change it in a minute, just like that but that's not the way it works everything has a moment and when this comes for something to be left behind then it will just go with the flow otherwise you are just forcing yourself to something its not meant to happen yet. I mean its not that you don't have control of what you do but if you try and try and try and its just not working maybe its because its not the moment so just let it happen. I don't know maybe its too late and i'm just trying to feel better about my way of drinking hehe no but if you have any comment about it let me know ;).

"The Past Is DusT and The FutuRe iS WateR"

What about that!! give it your own interpretation, it's funny you know? I heard this from a 'fortune teller' somewhere and well I really thought about it for a while hehe maybe dumb maybe wise it depends on how you take it ;) kiss.

JusT StoP!

You know I was in my f-ing boring class of Latinamerican Literature which suppose to be fun but my teacher has the gift to make it the most horrible class ever, but between all the shit he was saying I heard this quote: "We have organized a logical existence over a well of mysteries", Maria Luisa Bombal. So this made me think that most of the people just live this way, in a logical existence and the ones who realize that there is a well of mysteries are the ones who become blurry and who feel there is always something missing!! But that sucks you know? it sucks that sometimes you look around you and there is nothing else you can ask for but somehow you don't feel complete!! So with the help of my wise friend Jesper I conclude that we should just stop and think that this life is to love and be happy, nothing else 'cause the rest is just the extra touch and if we already found out about the well of mysteries let's just find them out!!!